


Tales of stupidity

by ScienceClone



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Comic Relief, crazy plot bunny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4380566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScienceClone/pseuds/ScienceClone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when all is quiet and our favourite heroes are decompressing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales of stupidity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dosualda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dosualda/gifts).



> Once again inspired by a tumblr post.  
> The plot bunny started hopping in my head and I had this done in one hour, sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> For Dosualda, hope this makes you laugh after a rough couple of weeks.

For once the tower is quiet, everyone enjoying a bit of decompressing and down time.  
Clint's watching trash tv and eating pizza in his room.  
Natasha's dancing.  
Tony is tinkering away in his lab even though everyone told him not to do that anymore.  
Matt and Foggy are in lawyer mode putting criminals behind bars the old fashioned way.  
Thor and Jane are somewhere undisclosed, she's probably yapping away about the science/history/whatever of the place while he grins like a fool thinking about how lucky he is to have found her and happy to be with her again.  
Bruce is meditating in one of the sound and Hulk proof rooms.  
Steve and Bucky are still catching up on 50 years of being separated while throwing some punches in the ring.  
At the tower's common room however, you can hear shouts, and curse words and laughter as a lively chat goes on.  
If you happen to just pass by, you won't notice anything strange, specially if you're distracted. If you pay attention though, you'll find Mjölnir lounging casually on the coffee table along with Matt's Sticks, Natasha's spare Gun in a holster under it, Captain America's Shield leaning on the side of the table facing the sofa where Bruce's Lab Coat lies discarded and Clint's Bow and Quiver where thrown somewhere over it.  
"I swear these stories get crazier every time, I wish I could have first hand knowledge, it's awful to know you are all out there and I'm stuck here" Lab Coat says.  
"Are you kidding me?! I would give all the strings in the world to have a day off and not end up smelling like blood and pizza! The grease kills me!" Bow pipes in. And laughter can be heard from all the others. "You are all laughing but you forget that asshole is the only one that's not "enhanced", has some super power or armour. I mean he walks around in the middle of a fucking gun fight with his arms exposed! Do you know how many times I've ended up on the floor and kicked and battered because of that fuckwit? To top it off he managed to shoot the wrong fucking arrow and make himself deaf!"  
"Yeah but don't forget he "sees better from a distance" so he doesn't really need his hearing 100%" Mjölnir adds.  
"Gah, I'll never outlive that line, cocky sarcastic bastard! Also you weren't there while he was recovering, those were good times, I had to keep my string extra tight to not burst out laughing everytime he fell on his ass! Not getting the bullseye all the time on the range was though though"  
"At least you see some action! The only thing entertaining that I ever saw was that gama Ray experiment gone wrong, or right, I'm not sure yet. After that I've been alone in a dark closet for a long time before I went back to the lab"  
"Yeah and you have no idea what it's like to be in the bottom of the ocean freezing for over 50 years and then have to get used to being banged and thrown on people. I'm a Shield not a fucking frisbee" Shield scoffs.  
"Well, I remember the time Thor did not heed his fathers words and went after the Jotuns, worse day ever, to battle Frost Giants only to return to Asgard and be banished to Midgard and stuck in the middle of hideous sand. And all those humans thinking they'd be worthy of me! I was so angry at Thor not even he could lift me! Let him suffer for his misdeeds!"  
"Hey, Widow, what about you? Natasha must have some pretty crazy stories too" The Quiver pipes up.  
"I'm a well trained Russian spy, I watch, I listen, I gather information. I. Don't. Share." The Gun says bluntly much like it's owner.  
"Ohh come on! I'm dying to hear about what happened in Budapest but neither you of your owners ever say squeak about that!" Lab Coat whines.  
If they could, Bow and Gun would be grinning at each other while they, simultaneously, say "Nope" and "not going to happen".  
"Ok then, new guy, Stick, what can you tell us about your guy? What's the stupidest thing he's ever done?" Lab coat asks intent on living vicariously through his mates.  
"You think your owners do stupid shit? Well mine used to get into fights wearing black, a mask covering his eyes, tight shirt and pants and this badass steel toed boots. Did I mention the fucker's blind? But I mean, even Thor has a bit of armour and he's a fucking God! So don't talk to me about about stupid shit unless your owner ended up bleeding to death in the garbage."  
At this Bow starts to laugh like a maniac murmuring something about band-aids while everyone falls into a stunned silence.  
"Must I always remind you of the time Tony flew into a portal to space with the suit on low charge and a nuclear missile in his hands?" Jarvis breaks the silence. "Also, we are about to have company."  
Silence descends again while they pretend they were not just having a laugh at the heroes expense and wait to see who's coming.  
The elevator's door open, and out comes Peter Parker mumbling something about having to find another job cause he's not being able to make the web ends meet. As he passes by behind the couch without looking up and fussing with his hair, he throws his wallet on the coffee table. It lands with a muffled, soft noise. Parker's long gone into the kitchen.  
A small sniff is heard, and the wallet meekly chimes "I can't handle being this empty all the time".


End file.
